Star Whores

STAR WHORES
episode iv a new stroke

emperor ovaltine has constructed a giant hardcore porno theater 
called the breast star, and it's up to the rebels, led by princess 
labia, to take it out. but first they must batte blowjabba the slut 
and his hordes of evil minions.
-you make up the rest.

Part Two: by Jhulio

Princess Labia Orgasm takes the rebel ship to Titti-one, a desolate planet
on the edge of the empire.  While enroute, the ship is intercepted by Dyke
Hater, the guy dressed in black.  Princess Labia sends her two droids,
R2-Do-me and C-me-PO'd, to the planet to meet the jizz-in-the-eye knight,
Open-wide Kenobi.

The droids are jettisoned to the planet and the princess is taken hostage
by hornytroopers and Dyke Hater.  They head back to the breast star, and
try to get the princess to tell them the plans of the rebel base.

The droids are lost on the dessert planet and go thatta way.  They come
across these little shitheads called Jawas, which take them hostage in a
really big metal box...

to be continued by someone else...

Part Three: by Pedro

Then dyke hater threatens to blow all over ALL DER ON with the big 
gun on the breast star.  

meanwhile back on titoonie

c3pu and r2dw40 are sold by the crappy little jaws to spelunkle 
slowen .
Spelunkle slowen ordered his nephew Fluke flystalker to clean the 
cruddy droids.
 
then suddenly it was somone elses turn to write.

Part Four: by benito

STAR WHORES- the next chapter (special "i've got nothing to do for 2 
                             hours" version)

while cleaning the cruddy droids r2wd40 and see-me-p.o.'d, fluke 
stumbles upon a short amateur porno film featuring princess labia 
getting fucked up the ass by a wampa. she keeps saying "help me 
opie-wan radtke, you're my only hope." fluke wonders if she means 
little ben radtke, but decides to go masturbate. 

the next day, fluke has to chase down little r2wd40. when he finds 
the little shit, the sand wedge people attack, chipping him up onto 
the green. but then ben radtke comes and saves him and acts like he's 
all bad and shit.

fluke shows ben the porno, and ben tells the young boy all about the 
farce. ben also tells fluke about his father, mannequin flystalker, and gives 
fluke the weapon of the true jello knight, the remington electric 
light shaver. ben then asks fluke to come with him to the planet 
DURANDURAN to save the princess. 

after finding the hornytroopers had already jizzed all over the jawas 
and speluncle slowen, fluke follows opie-wan to the city of 
mos icecream to find a pilot. they succeed in hiring Indiana Jones and 
his pet wookie Buttfucca to fly the Millenium Fuckem. 

but when they come out of hyperspace, Duranduran has been blown to 
tiny bits by the breast star's massively powerful nipple ray. "turn 
back!" they all scream, but indy can't turn the ship around because 
pricess labia is sucking him in with the tractor beam between her 
legs.

our heroes hide in the millenium fuckem's secret hatches with all of 
indy's blow up love dolls, and then sneak out into the breast star. 
opie-wan says " i must go alone" and nobody rejects because they 
think he's a dumbass. but really, opie-wan is just going to watch 
some shows while he's here on the galaxy's most powerful hardcore 
porno theater. and after he's done watching 'chicks that dig 
tauntauns' , he goes and plays video games with Dyke Hater.

meanwhile, fluke, indy, buttfucca, r2wd40, and c3pu try to get 
princess labia to go on the ship with them so they don't get pulled 
back between her legs. but then indy takes his whip and ties her legs 
together, and the tractor beam is disabled! but then this big ball 
starts rolling down the hall, and they all have to run really fast to 
get out, and there's this door that's coming down from the ceiling, 
and as our heroes slide underneath the door, indy loses his hat, and 
has just enough time to grab it before the door slams shut. and then, 
the crappy droids think that they killed the heroes because they're 
stupid. 

as the party runs for the ship, they see dyke hater and opie-wan 
playing video games. then they start using their electric light 
shavers, and ben cuts himself and dies. fluke says, "about fucking 
time that dumbass kicked off" but then, opie keeps coming back 
through some keen special effects. and he keeps telling fluke to 'use 
the farce', as if it's really going to do anything. but anyway, they 
run to the plane with the floating things on it just in time to dodge 
spears from the aborigines, and they head back to the rebel base to 
see how they can strike back at emperor ovaltine....

Part Five: by benito

STAR WHORES: the daily installment series that speaks to the heart.
episode IV: a new stroke, part 5

having retrieved the plans for the breast star, the rebels analyze 
them and find that the only way to destroy it is to deploy giant anal 
beads in a small tube that leads to the main reactor. two strike 
teams are organized. the first will pilot their sex fiend fighters to 
the orifice and launch the lube. the second will deploy the beads 
that will ultimately destroy the evil threat.

meanwhile, dyke hater kills another admiral.

while the rebels are getting the sex fiend fighters ready, princess 
labia has gets some from indiana jones. but then indy says he has to 
leave because he has to rescue his father, sean connery, from 
starring in a crappy movie about camelot with richard gere as 
launcelot. oh, yeah, and he has to pay a debt off to blowjabba the 
slutt. and he has to find the man with one arm and clear his name, 
and kill off the evil cyborg. princess labia throws a hissy fit 
because he's leaving.

the rebels launch their attack on the brest star, and a new author 
takes over....

Part Six: (the Lost Episode) by Jack Harvey

Star Whores: the missing foot.
The pit crew load the sex fiend fighters for the assult on the breast 
star. 
Just then Apollo, StarBuck, and Wedge launch the first strike force 
upon the Breast Star. fluke flystalker leads the golden starwberry 
assult force. 
Meanwhile, indie jones takes off to deliever a load a jelly to bubba 
the slut(a.k.a blow jabba). 
Dyke hater, leads the Empopers defense of the breast star's behind in 
the Emperioral Stud.
New Author takes over...

The Last Part: by benito

STAR WHORES- the chilling conclusion (due to lack of interest)

so fluke is flying in the trenches waiting to launch the anal beads, 
and he keeps hearing ben's voice like a mosquito that keeps buzzing 
in his ear. and it keeps saying, "primus is cool, fluke"

just then, Dyke Hater pilots his Bi-Fighter directly behind fluke's 
Sex-Fiend fighter and prepares to blast him. but he hits his funny 
bone, and is rendered incapable of firing anything. then, Indiana 
Jones comes back, blowing Dyke Hater to oblivion with the Millenium 
Fuckem. and in the background, E.T. gives eliot a ride across the 
moon.

so fluke has a clear shot, but he keeps getting distracted by images 
of jewel and juliana hatfield having lesbian sex, and he fires the 
anal beads way off.

So, fluke goes home and lives the rest of his life out of a bottle of 
jack, and the rebels all become mindless zombies that eat brains.

and rich, chocolatey emperor ovaltine lives on in complete hedonism, 
and many sequels are spawned, none of which are as good as the 
original.