scott - webmaster

Scott Powers was a prisoner of the barren wastelands of southern Illinois for twenty-six years, until he relocated to the barren wastelands of central Illinois. In sixth grade, he started his own comic book company, creatively named SP Comics. SP Comics churned out such beloved favorites as 'Stupidity Force', Ninjas Without a Clue', 'The Annihilator', and 'Super Hero Guy'. In 1996, Powers created the Benito Jose Experience, a masterpiece of early web design which skillfully combined all the artistic agility of the Flemish Masters with the guts and devil-may-care attitude of a wounded jackrabbit. 2001 saw Powers co-founding, drawing, publishing, folding, stapling, and marketing Grandpa's Lap, a comic anthology tour-de-force featuring some of Carbondale, IL's greatest artists. Then he spent a few years in retirement while trying to figure out if he was a comic book artist or a computer geek. In late 2003, his prayers were answered when his muse of art and his muse of web design got together, had a brief lesbian fling, and somehow miraculously spawned the bastard child known as webdisaster.net. Abandoning his previous career of dishing out justice vigilante-style under the cover of night, Powers now spends most of his time teaching webdisaster how to become a full-fledged website and eventually get Farked or Googled. Check out how crooked Scott's head is! What a freak!

phil - unique like you

Oatmeal is my favourite sport.
I’m a metaphor for the internal combustion engine.
I once raced a squirrel to the top of a maple tree and won.
I square dance on round tables.
I have crossed the state of Wyoming on a pogo stick.
Speedvision has already purchased the rights to televise my funeral procession.
I can breathe underwater.
I trained an orphaned bear cub to fetch my newspaper every morning.
I have brushed elbows with world leaders and brushed lint off my knickers.
I was raised by a pack of wild platypuses.
I won the Iditarod sled race with my team of specially-bred boars.
I won the lottery and was struck by lightning on the same day.
I cheer for pigeons.
I have influenced the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, and Salt-N-Pepa.
I enjoy pole-vaulting in the park.
Women are puzzled by my charm.
My collection of designer egg-slicers has international appeal.
By sledding down the North Face of Mt. Everest I set the world land-speed record.

philh - 100% More Phil FREE!!!

Having been nursed for two years at the teat of a wild possum, philh grew into the legendary backwoodsman of Southern Illinois. He is best described as neither man nor beast, but a ghostlike figure that locals refer to as, "The Tarzan of the Deciduous Forest".

Several attempts to make contact with philh by documentary film crews and thrill-seeking teenagers have been unsuccessful. Only six seconds of low quality film taken by National Geographic has captured the spectral site of this elusive hunter-gatherer. This clip will be featured on an upcoming episode of Kratts' Creatures airing in May on PBS after a very special episode of Wishbone.

Racheal - Wholesome Goodness

As a young child, Racheal Faerie lived with her parents in a one-room farmhouse. They raised chickens,and emus, also. Their farm went broke, because Racheal was far ahead of her time and could not bring herself to eat the cooked (or uncooked, for that matter) flesh of live animals. That is why to this day, she only eats fast food burgers, because everybody knows those things aren't real meat anyway. Emus weren't very big in the antebellum days of the 19th century either. so these poor people were stuck. To help lessen the financial burden of the Faerie family, Racheal was hired out as a pot welder. The hours were long and hard, but that did not dampen the ever-optimistic attitude of the young sprightly girl. She spent the evenings singing songs in a local brothel, while penning poetry into the wee hours of the morning. It was about the time, when Racheal turned 15 and finished her home schooling that she was the first woman admitted to Yale University. Her name does not appear in the history books as the first young lady to graduate Yale, because she attended the university under the pretense that she tell nobody. For this, she received her finishing degree for free. Hush money never hurt anybody. After leaving Yale, Racheal went on to teach school at a primary level. She tried the dating scene, but was lambasted out by a cutting edge van halen loving consort with a time machine. She could not get past the noise and the constant delusions. Lucky for her, a hundredaire came along and swept her off her feet, and she was able to sue him for 500 dollars after she mended her broken leg by wrapping it with moss and willow branches. This 500 dollars was her ticket to financial freedom. She took the money and ran, much like her 21st century counterparts, Jack and Diane. Racheal ran ran ran all the way to Paris where she learned the secrets of how to eat escargot. However, escargot did not suit her palate and she gave up quickly and ran on to England. There she met a dashing young butler named Northrup. Racheal and North quickly grew to be lovers and married. They had a mad and passionate marriage, which lasted only a short time, because eventually she got sick of his blimey accent. There is some speculation that Racheal wasn't really sick of North's accent, only jealous that she couldn't produce an accent of equal quality. Racheal moved on to her next lover, John Folds. They moved back to the US and lived for a long time in North Carolina. Where they settled long enough to start a family and start a music factory. C and C music factory was successful and long-lived. There were reminders of the factory well into the 21st century. In addition to the legacy of a great music factory, Racheal was the great great grandmother of legendary piano rocker Ben Folds. It was reported that Racheal lived in an abandoned Conestoga wagon until her death in 1934. However, she somehow managed to resurrect herself and live vicariously through others. In fact Racheal recovered in time to become an omnipresent part of the mid-'60s avant garde scene in London, where she befriended and fell in love with the attractive bohemian Stephan LeCouer (best known for his arthouse film "Casablanca II: Sam's Revenge"). They cofounded an abstract architecture company in 1971, but this project was abandoned in favor of Racheal's unsuccessful bid for U.S. presidency the following year. (She lost to Richard Nixon, an old enemy from her much hidden Minnesota sex party days.) Today, Racheal lives a quiet life as a head in a jar. Her new album, "Polkas, Scottishes, and Waltzes" is due out next may. At a living and nonliving age combined of 125, Racheal is showing no signs of a slowdown. Her last lover, LeCouer, is working on his latest short film entitled "Balls, Sacks, and Balzacs".

adam - grand master sushi chef

After having worked successfully for many years in the international sex-for-guns trade, Adam "The Juice" Hale has settled down to a nice, quiet life in the tiny midwestern hamlet of Monkey's Eyebrow, KY. Eventually he aims to control the entirety of Greenland under an iron-fist dictatorship, but for now he settles for a less absolute and more moderate control of his immediate backyard.

Mr. Hale's interests include book polishing and bartering the souls of local children on eBay. He can be contacted through the usual channels.

godsmustbecrazy - The name says it all

Well I want to make a disaster out of my profile keeping with the whole theme of the website, which shouldnt be very hard to do since my life is pretty much one disaster after another. I am Prem and for people who know me those three words are more than enough description about me, but since there are other people here I will expand a little, I am the fouder of the organization AU© (Alchoholics Unanimous) in memory of the great Hawk-eye Pierce (for those who dont know from M*A*S*H) and I am a very active partner. Membership is free and open to all, theres not even a membership card so you dont have to worry about anything.
Enough said for now rest later... Ciao

lordess_penguin - eww what's on your shoe?

14 years of torturing small animals and living in a house with a family that compaired itself to the simpsons where the youngest son was lisa, 1 year of therapy, and almost another year of being doped up on drugs to keep her from seeing the green leprichauns in her mailbox and thinking she was riding a unicorn to school are what have brought lordess penguin to you today. As you may have noticed, lordess penguin is a bit crazy, but there is also a side of her that only heavy medication can bring to the surface, like bird watching, some find it fun to watch for this behavior, others think it's just plain stupid.

mushingirl - Creatively Blonde

Born in Decatur Illinois this tall, overweight blonde chick doesn't want anyone to know, so don't tell. She was first touched in that...never mind.
Anyway, after an angry and confusing stint as a teenager the no mind girl attempted to broaden her intellect in a state university. After 5 years of drunkenly painting, sketching and print making her way through a sorry excuse for academic classes the faculty of Easter Illinois University put her out into the real world where she quickly realized the days of nickle beers at the local pub were long gone.
Dazed and confused but able to paint she went to work doing what she does best, warping the minds of our country's youth. She worked breifly teaching art to the underprivelidged and wearing a yellow hat in one of Decatur's parks before landing a cake job at a summer camp in Indiana.
It was here that she met her future spouse, also known as Satan. In his normal fashion, Satan came to her in exactly the package she thought she wanted. Get it, package? You see because...nevermind.
After the cake was gone and the campers went home Mushingirl went back to her full time job of seeking gainfull employment to pay for her alcohol habbit. She continued to date Satan, an Indiana State University student, and soon found herself mixed up in a world of sex, drugs and alcohol, only three of which she liked.
For the next several months she was not completely aware of what was going on, but the colors were pretty. She awoke to find herself back in Decatur, with Satan, in a lovely house with evil spirits in the basement. She quickly retreated back into the world of sex, drugs and alcohol.
Eventually she found the need to work, as Satan's soul collecting business does not pay well, so she dropped the sex from her regular routine and worked in between binges. This allowed her to beef up her portfolio and afford things like new clothes, heat, food and more drugs.
Finally, in the late 90's, she found herself working at a newspaper in Decatur. Here is a hint, it is the only one unless you count the Decatur Tribune, which you might if you need lining for you cat's litter box.
On Halloween of 1998 she was adopted by her black cat, Franklin, who helped her to break her addiction to Satan. After a long and messy divorse she said goodbye to Satan, followed shortly by drugs. Now only sex and alcohol ruled her world.
She is currently producing a website with nearly ten readers and has retired (momentarilly) from the newspaper. Did you know that momentarily means both "in the moment" and "for a moment?"
In her spare time she likes to drink alcohol, smoke, talk on the cell phone, type on her laptop and on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for two months every summer, play sports.
With any luck this would be world dominatrix will soon have control of all she surveys and then we can all get to the sex and alcohol full time. Until then we will have to keep plugging away at our mundane jobs (unless you are retired) to afford the better things in life like food and shoes.
Most important of all, never forget, I like candy.

drinknsmoke79 - MATT

It isnt really easy for me to open up in front of people so this will probably all be lies. I am a pessemisd with an excellent scence of spell. i hardley ever need to use spell check or the top row of keys. those are the two most importaint thangs to know about me. Herr are the lesser impoprtaint ones. I know nothing about the term "ambiant temperature", i also enjoy enjoyment. the only other thing is,im done with this bio.

oldestgenxer -

Anything I tell you about myself will be misleading, intentional or otherwise. I submitted a photo, but cameras, like mirrors, don't work on me. I'm not gay or a cross-dresser.
Anymore.
I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and getting under people's skin.
I am alcohol, rubbed in an open cut. I am sand in your underwear.
I will try to be nice to you.

But you won't like it.

gargoyle7 - Mercenary for Hire

Hiya my real name is The flying wombat Todd Haohmaru Pedro ToddTodd and I'm a walking encyclopidia of uselessRpg Knowledge. Thats right folks, if anyone has a useless question about a Rpg feel free to ask and if you dont want to talk about Rpg's then thats fine too i can talk about anything from video games to Economic and sociolistic impact of vampire's in Canada, the war between Cabbage Patch Kids and Care Bears and which side will Strawberry Shortcake and the my little ponies take , exactly whats the difference between a granny apple and a washington apple, the real 101 ways to skin a cat, indiginous creatures in the Gallopagus islands,just about anything. i especially like Rpg's.


For True effect of actual conversation with Todd just read the letters in RED.

monks - webminions

The troop of the very skillful combined monk 1,000 works in order to make the place of optional contents of the #1 of the world in the world completely newly not to go to bed. Being organized as the dog pack of wildness, mighty groundhog compared to the smart, these monks completing their works stop with what.