9/13/04 by phil

Months of anticipation were about to culminate in this one joyous occasion. After eating a Beanie Bean Burrito, I was feeling Junior kicking about in my belly. Could this be the day? I thought back to my Lamaze classes and all the literature I had read and I knew I was ready. A sudden pain in my abdomen confirmed my suspicion! Off to the hospital I went!

I was met at the hospital doors by my doctor, who then led me to a stall where I would endure hours of joyous, excruciating pain. I tried to focus on plans for Game Misconduct 2005, but each sharp pain brought me back into the present. For five and a half hours I persevered through a crescendo of abdomen pains spaced closer and closer together. Finally, soaked in sweat with my pants at my ankles, I was delivering! You can only imagine my joy when I heard the news: triplets! They each weighed in around 3 pounds, 5 ounces, so we kept them in observation for a few hours. Two flushes later the doctors gave me clearance to leave.

I'm glad I had chosen to deliver au naturale (no drugs), because it allowed me to enjoy both glorious flushes. However, the drugs probably would have made the TP feel a little softer, so I can understand why people choose to deliver that way. I washed my hands, as required by state law, and made my way back home.

As I wistfully look back on that day, I have to say that post-partum depression is real. It's like I lost a part of me that day. However, the joy of bringing three little turds into the world is one that only a parent can understand.